Holy crap I've been bamboozled once again

HOLY CRAP I JUS PEED MI PANTZ.

i don been bam BOOBzled once again. (i jus ped my pants a lil bit again) (don let the wife find out-this is my last pair of] undehwrooz til she do the laundrys nex mondy)

these arent chips. i n bro in law tyson. were buying snackables. n i fell 4 the shiny glimmerying cheddars. i thot. cheddars, lik macaraonics n chese crackers but dont taste like no noodels?!!! HOLY crap i dont not wearin no more pants.

N neway how do u think of the ol man on cover? hav u ever mayb noticed he mite be winkin at u? n watup w/ that homo name n red (my fav color) suspendgers ;? {i think hes a lil bit hot}

oh no shutup brain! (i told u 2 go 3 slep 4 a reason#)

i ate the hole bag. notice it is empties. lik a hole. n only 25 grams of fat. HOLY CRAP I WANT 2 PEE UR PANTZ. (thats 4 ur, orvilez) (but dont tel the wifes)

mor ovalten's plz

LOl. So-this is tha storie. 1th. let me set the stage. hav u ever ben in a supermarket??! wel. i was w/ my cuz mo. well at the store they havfe these things caled "iseles" n aftr u don doin teh shopin bdniz (mosty handled bi womenfokes) (i have lotsa ideas bout the genderfokes) u get in a line 4 purchasing your itemsz. that ur want 2 buy.

usually at this time i wil buy gum; chetos, mountain dews (4 my thirst) (mo like cherry coke)

howevs. wen i was lukin up the aisles. someons left a jar orf oveltines (what wud fel gud in my tummies) al alones w/ no homes. I knew it was not intentionally stocked in that locality. i used my detective mom arturosz skils (hav u seen that film?) 4 deducting skilz.

*intentionmaly.

THere wer no other foods of the type. so i gave that ovaltines a gud home. in my bellys. (did u no what a cow has 6 stomaches?)

also i bouhgt sum hand sanitizers n gummy produxts b/c they was the ovaltine's freinds. n i wanted 2 give them 6 a hhome in my belly to. (the hand sanitizers was not eazy on the bowels. ask the wifes)

Beef jwerkys (buy rrl fancy thaia fockes)

Beef Jerkys. Lol. hav u evr consitered teh originz of tha worrd/?? wel i attribut it 2 jamaizan counterculture. like beef is lik beefcake, homosexual 4 very attractive man. lol so i think this might hav sumthin 2 do w/likin tha menfokes. ROfLoor. my wifey would HATE this. (thats why i scarf em downin mi faace) (in pravates) ("but not in my priavtes") {cuz thems spicuy bithces}

iregardles lol wat du u thunk they mean bi "thia?" i think this kindameat n lik how it feels on my tonsils (fancy wurd 4 toungie) n my fav color is rhed.

it tasted lik norms beef jerksy but nasty crap. lol jus kiddin tasted lik cows/awhole bunch/butin jus 1 bag (lol im tipin lik rossy odonald)/maybe i am gay ???!!!

Lindt: Lindor Friggin Truffles HOLY CRAP (but not reily)

Well they say u should get chocx 4 a woman. Lik anniversary.

Well i got these 4 my wife but ate them in the car 4 our aniversary. she never found out but irregardless these truffles give one's teeth trembles with anticipation 4 teh next bite. the creamy white choc is filled with delivious mocha chips. like lil cookies n cream ice cream cept its not cold.

women s shouldnt eats chocs cuz men metabolife's things dif.

Butter: the reason cows exist (n oldie but a goodie_)

Arturos ate that beutters aall by himself. speaking of butters wh o remems that show pb n j otters, n lil baby buttesr. lik what i ate a whole half a stick of./

(speakin of which thats ababy spoon, my baby dustin"s spoon ACTUAL SIZE)

HOLY CRAP ON MY FAV SHOW THEY USED 2 DO THT NEWDLE DANZE AN THOSE CRAZKERS DIDNT TASTE NOTHIN LIKI NOODLES. wtf.

Macaronis?~~~!! Holy fuckiing canoli (i wanna pee my pantz)

HOLY FUCKING APESHIT I THOUGHT MACRCARONI N CHEES WHAS JUS MACARONI N CHEESE BUT NOW ITS MACARNOI N CHEESE CARACKR. CRACCKERS. *CRACKERS.

I 4got 2 use the backspace ! oh ther it is. fuckdgood job detective mom arturos.

In + i also forgot 2 look at nutrictional faqz. But I tried these lil bastards n they taste like cheese. like white cheedor, as advertised.

there new lik the Box says. In big red box with wavy letters says "NEW!~" and I'm not 1 2 pass up an opportunitz 2 try sumethin new. like what if these wer limited editions n i never new.

but 2 ask a faq how come they dont taste lik no noodles *macacaronis *macrarconis (macaranois 2 be specific)

HOLY CRAP I FOUND TEH BACKSPACE agains (THIS IS MY LUICKY days agains)

sry 4 bein so existmential

(but i was jus wondrin)

Mini Smart Cakes! Popcorn Cakes

i wish iI shouldsa been able 2 reads ta no that it wasnt no junk foods but I still 8 the whole bag justin case, but it stil wasn't no junk foods i bin tricked n dun bamboozeled rilly gud. C ^^ the hole bag iz empties fo rillsies.

a senzual blend of sour cream + onion, i rilly felt lik th 1st day i n cuz mo ate sour creme & onion chips; cept these art intelligent chips and are less likely to cause arterial sclerosis

in + my father of late has developed gout which has manifested itself as pain in his foots. as this food has no saturated fat it wonts do gout 2 u.

another healthy choice 4 a healthy life